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Back to school is always one of my favorite times of the year. Not because the kids are gone off to school but because they’re experiencing life on their own that I’m excited to hear all about. As anyone with teens knows, it can be like pulling teeth to get more than a one-word response but it’s not impossible. Just making a few adjustments will help you have better teenage communication skills and get them talking about their day.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
I can be long-winded with my responses. I’m a talker and I like to be thorough, so no one is left to assume what I may have meant. When presented with a “yes” or “no” question, I tend to provide only that and my kids are certainly the same.
Instead of asking “Did you have a good day?” and expecting a lengthy schpill, ask “What was the best part of your day?”. It’s a great foundation that leaves room for a whole conversation to be built upon. If I ask the kids how their day was, I immediately follow up with “tell me all about it and don’t leave anything out”. This also lets them know that I really, genuinely want to hear all about it.
Share Your Day
While I may find my day to be quite mundane and boring … okay, that’s lies, it WAS that way when I was doing Accounting in an office without the ability to switch things up but blogging life is anything but boring … the kids like to hear about it. If the only response I’m giving them is “fine”, I can pretty much guarantee that’s all I’m going to get back, and rightfully so.
You get what you give, so share with them as much as you’d like them to share with you. Sharing with them how Bob ate your labeled lunch or you were stuck in a meeting unable to go to the bathroom is more relatable to them than you may think.
Develop a Routine
I used to drive the kids to and from school but these days, I drive them in the morning (the bus comes so early and they get a bit of extra sleep this way) and they take the bus home. I try really hard to greet them at the door, sometimes with an afterschool snack and definitely an ice-cold drink for hot summer days. Sparkling ICE is always a hit because it’s zero sugar, zero calories, contains naturally sourced colors and flavors, and won’t ruin dinner appetites.
Once they’re in and settled, we sit on the sofa with our drinks and I get a synopsis of their day. Just a quick version before I start dinner, so we can all sit down to eat at 6:30 pm once Nathan gets home. Once everyone has made their plate, I go around the table asking everyone how their day was. This is when the lengthier version of everyone’s day is told and it’s just nice to share that moment together where there are no electronics, no tv, no other distractions, just great family time over a yummy home-cooked meal.
What age were your kids when you realized they were no longer little chatterboxes and you needed to develop your own teenage communication skills? Leave a message in the comments and tell me what things have worked for you.
