My daughter has this love for the 2000s TV show ‘Supernanny’ and it’s offshoot, ‘America’s Supernanny’ that came out a few years later. We watched this one particular episode recently where the nanny visits a Black family of 12 in Charlotte. The kids were hitting each other and saying some of the most hateful things, which clearly came from the parents once you saw their interactions. The brunt of the verbal and physical abuse seemed to be directed to one sibling in particular, with her brothers and sisters referring to her as “burnt” and calling her a gorilla. Her own family. Her siblings who were actually the same shade of brown as her. The saddest part was they learned it from their mother whom they’d overheard referring to her as too dark first sometime before. This is where colorism in the Black community usually starts – at home.
Colorism is the practice of discrimination by which those with lighter skin are treated more favorably than those with darker skin. To be more accurate, colorism dates back to slavery, and has been systematically passed through various elements of Black culture, eventually going into homes and coming out of the mouths of fathers, mothers, sisters, and brothers. It greatly effects self esteem and leads to hatred of being the complexion you are and/or those who are lighter (in rare occasions, darker) than you.
Other than complexion, a huge place this comes out is in hair and being told you have “good hair” when you’re skin is lighter and “nappy hair” when you’re of darker skin. I fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum and never received comments about being too dark, but I was definitely told my “kitchen” was nappy when the hot comb press was starting to wear off. When I was going natural, I was told by more than one person it was time for a touch up. These people were friends and immediate family.
My son is around the same complexion as I, while my daughter is quite a bit lighter. When she was much younger, people assumed I was her nanny because, apparently, there was no way she could be as light as she was and be my child. As she’s gotten older, she looks a bit more like me and has definitely taken on my personality but never my complexion. I’ve always taught her to love herself and while she does, she’s definitely made a few comments about wishing she were darker. Because I know she’s my biggest fan and reads all my posts – you are absolutely perfect the way you are my beautiful Vanilla Bean.
For everyone else, what is your experience with colorism in the Black community? Were you teased for being too light, too dark or told you didn’t have “good hair” because it was coarse?
